The Character of Forgiveness

Character Leadership - The Character of Forgiveness

“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names” – John. F. Kennedy

   

Definition:  A quality by which one ceases to feel resentment against another for a wrong he or she had committed against oneself.

Unforgiving, blame, being intolerant, callous and bitter are the opposites of forgiveness. When we refuse to forgive or refuse to repent, then we are concealing ourselves from self awareness and this will bind us deeper into bitterness! Unforgiving allows bitterness to be built and continue so that it festers, and corrupts our whole being. Then bitterness becomes our driving force and identity. We cannot allow unforgiveness take hold of our lives!

Character leaders know that forgiveness requires maturity, patience and tact. Forgiveness is not about forgetting. Many a times, people cannot forgive is because they were told to “forgive and forget!” It is the forgetting part people struggles with. We certainly cannot forget but forgiving also does not mean we should become buddy again with the other party. We can still move on with our life without those who hurt us before. We can a choice to either bind ourselves with unforgiveness or move on with forgiving unbinding those hurtful feelings that engulfed us. Forgiveness is Hard. Forgiveness is hard because it demands a surrender of our rights to get even. Forgiveness even demands suffering form the person who was wronged. But forgiveness is worth it.

Reflection:

Ask yourself; “how do I handle forgiveness?”  How do you respond when others forgive you?  Do you realize the generosity of grace that is extended to you that you may not deserve?  Can you also extend such grace to others who hurt you emotionally?  You may not be able to forget but can you forgive? To forgive quickly is to prevent bitterness and resentment from building up. However, it does not mean that being quick to forgive is not genuine. It must come from the heart.

As Character leader, we must extend ourselves to other people with forgiveness and what flows out of forgiveness is love. This should be clear to us.  A healthy character leader is one who puts aside the malicious traits of our natural desire to strike back at people who offend us.  Instead, a character leader will model kindness, love, caring, compassion and out of these flow forgiveness. Seeking revenge damages both parties. It brings pain and not satisfaction, as there is no forgiveness in the process. Two wrongs do not make a right. When we choose to forgive instead of taking revenge, we experience strength of character, self-control and inner peace.