The Character of Deference

Character Leadership - The Character of Deference

“Great men always pay deference to greater.” - Walter Savage Landor.

Definition: Limiting my freedom out of respect or courtesy to somebody or something so as not to offend others around me.  

Rudeness and Defiant are the opposites of deference. These negative character traits will cause us to see people in a negative light and be rude to them. We will become insensitive and inconsiderate. The character of deference is an act of high regards and respect to people or events around our lives. When we show deference to someone, we submit ourselves to that person's wishes, desires, or opinions. When we defer to another's wishes, we make that person feel honored. It helps keep peace. When we show deference to others, we are being gracious. When we have friends over to our house as guests, we try to be gracious to them by welcoming them and make sure they are treated like a guest should--at least part of the time--and by offering them first chance to take the food or drinks or other snack. What we are really doing is showing deference.

With the character of deference, we will learn that we must dress modestly so as not to offend and also to speak with clean languages to our family members when we are at home or even in places we are familiar with but have other people with us. We must also refrain from wrong activities in order to be role models for younger family members. Showing respect to our authorities including our parents by not talking back or use ugly words is also a form of deference.

Reflection:

Ask yourself; “What are the issues in my life that would improve with more deference?” We need to notice people around us and to know when to allow others to carry on their activities without interruption. When we are in public we are sharing whatever space we occupy with others. That is why it is called public space. Since we are sharing we must be mindful of not intruding into others’ space, whether it is sound, action or visual impact.

As Character leaders, we must extend ourselves to other people with deference and what flows out of deference are good reputation and respect from others. The way we speak reveals the way we think. To speak offensively is to be crude which invites the contempt of others. We must not use words that we may regret later. Few people tolerate bad language.