The Character of Persuasiveness

Character Leadership - The Character of Persuasiveness

“There is no persuasiveness more effectual than the transparency of a single heart, of a sincere life.” - Joseph B. Lightfoot

 

Definition:   To make someone do or believe something by giving them a good a good reason to do it by talking to them and making them believe it.

Ambiguity, Pushiness, and Apprehension, are the opposites of persuasiveness. These negative traits will drive us to use opposing and destructive ways to get someone to do something. It is the negative form of persuasiveness. We will become pushy instead of persuading with the right words and examples. We will stretch the truth and even lie to get what we want or someone to do things for us.

Persuasiveness advocates the truths to others with confidence so they can be changed in their thinking and helps us accomplish what we set out to do. We can do this with encouragement instead of being insensitive or pushy. This character trait of persuasiveness will also allow us to ride out the tough times of life and difficult situations by talking and convincing others to help us along the way. However, persuasiveness is not about convincing others to do things just any way, but to do things the right way. Persuading others to do the wrong things is not a good trait to have, even if we are persuasive.

Reflection:

Ask yourself; “Am I persuasive enough to get others help me get things done?” Commanding a person to do what is right may seem like the right thing to do, but it may not be permanent. It is better to persuade a person to do the right thing by conviction, where his own conscience will prevent him from repeating his wrong.

As Character leaders, we must extend ourselves to other people with persuasiveness and what flow out of persuasiveness are negotiation skills that benefit all. Argument is to forcefully put our point across. Sometimes this arouses emotions that do not address the problem at hand. It is better to persuade by using calm and controlled methods of putting a point across. To do so, we must also be timely and to be timely is to recognize that not everyone can respond to the right request favorably. It is better to wait for the right moment before asking a favor, present an idea or appeal for something.

The Character of Patience

Character Leadership - The Character of Patience

“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.” - unknown

Definition:   The capacity to tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without becoming angry or up set.

Impatience, Annoyance and Intolerance, are the opposites of Patience. These negative traits will mould us into a cold hearted indifferent person that worries and harbor fear about almost anything. We will become very intolerable with people who cannot catch up with us or live by our standards. We will constantly complain about the slightest things about anything that does not go our ways.

Patience is an essential aspect toward maturity and growth as a person, yet it is not an easy character trait to have. We are prone to not like to wait, especially in our fast paced, and fast food society. Without Patience, we cannot be used effectively in the lives of others, as they will seem repugnant to us, and we will be callous and unsympathetic towards them. Patience will allow us to manage anger and problems, and to wait for the right timing. Patience will allow us to forgive. Patience is hanging on to what is good. Patience will allow us to endure and go on, even when we do not feel like it. It will see the hope that is ahead, when the clouds of our lives and experiences block its view from our sight. When we are impatient, we will miss a lot in life, especially in our relationships.

Reflection:

Ask yourself; “What are the issues in my life that can be improved with more patience?” We should not start counting how many times we are not getting what we want if we get a “no” for an answer. We should try to seek another way, a better way and if the answer is still “no”, we should accept it. This is patience. To develop patience we must understand that not everything we try for the first time, we succeed. Patience is to try again and get better each time. Even when success comes, we must keep on trying to improve ourselves so that we do no slide back into a position where all we have achieved should be wasted.

As Character leaders, we must extend ourselves to other people with Patience and what flows out of patience are hope and optimism. We all have certain things or people in our lives that are unchangeable; our physical appearance, lost of a family members or inconsiderate behaviors from another person that hurt us etc. It will be frustrating sometimes if we insist on changing these things. Instead, we should focus on what really matters and concentrate on things that can be improved instead of wasting time trying to change the unchangeable.

The Character of Orderliness

Character Leadership - The Character of Orderliness

“A goal without a plan is just a wish” – Confucius

Definition: Arrange or organize ourselves and our surroundings in a neat, sensible, or proper way.

Unorganized, ineffectual, and messiness are the opposites of orderliness. The person who exhibits these negative character traits will be unconcerned with planning, schedules and keeping his workplace and home neat and tidy to the extend that it sacrifices time and prevents them and others of doing things better.

To be orderly is similar to efficiency which means being well organized, competent, and resourceful, making the most of every situation, doing our best and always seeking better ways to be a better person in all that we do. It means we are organized and accountable for what is presented to us as well as for all we do with it. With this character, we can do work in a more orderly way, always seeking the best way and means in all that we do – from our errands, to organizing our work and family life, in order to achieve the greatest effectiveness.

Orderliness leads to efficiency and efficiency equates to good organization, so we need to see its importance and then make every effort to learn how to get orderly with our family and our work. We need to be able to see that our efforts to be better organized will make us more efficient and we will reap the benefits by having a better and more enjoyable life. We will have more time to work on relationships and leisure.

Reflection:

Ask yourself; “What are the issues in my life that would improve with more orderliness?” An important part of orderliness is maintaining the cleanliness and orderliness of our surroundings. By doing so, we not only become more efficient but we will always be prepared for unexpected things and matters. If we learn the habit of picking up after ourselves, it will benefit us for the rest of our lives. We should learn to be responsible to clean up if we create a mess. If we do not, others will have to do it for us and this is not a good habit.

As Character leaders, we must extend ourselves to other people with orderliness and what flows out of orderliness are peace of mind and efficiency. Everything is designed for a purpose or a specific use. Using something in a wrong or compromised manner can cause damages and sometimes harm to others or us. Returning items to their proper places is being organized. This requires discipline and self-control. In the long run, we would benefit by being able to do things more efficiently.

The Character of Obedience

Character Leadership - The Character of Obedience

“There is no shame in taking orders from those who themselves have learned to obey.” – William Edward Forster

   

Definition:   Doing, or willing to do, what you have been told to do by someone in authority.

Disobedience, Defiance, and Rebellion are the opposites of obedience. With these negative attitudes, we will usually only just do our own thing. We will have no respect for authority; we will do as we please, thus placing us on a path of chaos, strife, and destruction. We will have no desire to do the right thing outside of obligation. We will miss out on true intimacy, destroy relationships, hinder growth in ourselves and others and miss out on maturity of ourselves.  
There is a difference between blind obedience and obeying authorities. Lawful obedience is good practice but blind obedience must be avoided because we do not obey to do the wrong things. 
Obedience is also the willingness to cooperate with our authority and with others in their directions and plans. It is working together to further things that are positive as a community together. We have to sacrifice our will and pride, for these things result in separation and strife. Whereas, when we work together cohesively, we bring and build community and relationships.

Reflection:

Ask yourself; “Have I been an obedient person?” A cheerful attitude makes tasks simpler, gives support to the speaker and tells others that we trust the authorities to care and protect us. To obey grudgingly is to show a lack of understanding of the instruction. We can always seek a compromise or a clarification with the decision-maker if we have doubts about the instruction. This builds confidence and mutual respect.

As Character leaders, we must extend ourselves to other people with obedience and what flows out of obedience are provision from our authorities and wise counsel from them. Accepting a project and completing it according to instruction is a sign that we are responsible and obedient. Sometimes when we are given tasks from different people and they conflict, we should also exercise responsibility by seeking clarification from both in order to remove the conflict. Also, we should all “go the extra mile” and do beyond what is required of us. This is obedience at the highest level, which earns trust, respect, and honor and eventually projects us into a position of influence.

The Character of Loyalty

Character Leadership - The Character of Loyalty

Leadership is a two-way street, loyalty up and loyalty down. Respect for one's superiors; care for one's crew. – Grace Murray Hopper

Definition:   A feeling of devotion, duty, or attachment to somebody, something or a country.

Disloyalty, Betrayal, Distrusting, and Unfaithful, are the opposites of loyalty. It is allowing ourselves to characterize our desires and manipulate others rather than build them up. This mindset will quickly turn into contempt, and will cause us to disrespect and undermine our authorities as well as one another. This will lead to disputes and bitterness. The character of loyalty keeps us remain committed to those people who are important in our live. Being loyal exhibits our commitment to our loved ones and our friends.

Loyalty is like faith; it means assurance of another. In ancient times, the two words had the same meaning, and referred to one's loyalty to a person, or trustworthiness to a promise they had made. The person receiving the promise was acting on faith and trusting in that person, and that is what loyalty is mainly about. But, loyalty has another facet to it. It is also a call that we involve other characters into, such as, forgiveness, mercy, and respect. We are to realize this with people, even when it is underserved and unearned. It is also the knowledge that people with whom we place our loyalty will disappoint us. However, we cannot base our character and self image in their reaction. Our outlook on life and reaction to people needs to be rooted in mercy and forgiveness and in love, not on how those people respond to us. We are not responsible for how people treat us; we are only responsible for treating them with utmost character. 

Reflection:

Ask yourself; “Have I been a loyal person in treating my family, my friends and even my country?” A loyal person will encourage and comfort during hard times. Loyalty rides out the storms of life and brightens each day regardless of costs. In our country, we have a pledge to honor our country. In time of crisis we must not blame the government or people but continue to honor our commitment to the country by making positive contributions.

As Character leaders, we must extend ourselves to other people with loyalty and what flows out of loyalty are deeper relationships and trust and confidence from others. When we spend time and efforts to serve others, we are demonstrating loyalty, whether we are helping at home or at work. When we do well in our work, we are showing loyalty to our workplace and our superiors.  We may not always agree with our authorities and when this happen, instead of making fun and ridicule them, we should patiently correct or defend such person as a show of loyalty.

The Character of Integrity

Character Leadership - The Character of Integrity

"Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.” – William Shakespeare

 

Definition:   Steadfast attitude to a strict moral or ethical code

Hypocrisy, Dishonesty, and Corruption are the opposites of integrity. When we carry out these negative traits or do not keep our word, we are misrepresenting our own good name. We must be on guard with modern teaching of relativism where people who will do all they can to try to convince us to give up our integrity and character by appealing arguments, passionate pleas, peer pressure, rationalizations, and ridicule on a personal level on why we do not need integrity.

The character of integrity is essential for deeper relationships and developing other people’s confidence in you because integrity will produce honor, truth, and reliability. It will allow one to keep his or her word and do the best even when no one else is aware. It is also considered the quintessence and application of Character and the demonstration of who we are and that our reputation is real and backed up with our attitude and word. The absence of integrity is an indication that we are perhaps fakes and frauds at worst, and ineffective and useless at best. It is essential that we pursue integrity because it will build trust with our relationship with family and friends.

Reflection:

Ask yourself; “Do I strive to have integrity in what I do?” Being honest and truthful is not easy in our society when many are compromising truth and honesty with lies and more lies. If we stand out to be bold to be honest and truthful, we will be outstanding and will gain much respects from others around us. We must also stay away from unhealthy talks and mindless games. We can be funny at times and say things to make others laugh but if we do not have self-control and stop at appropriate time, we will become ridiculous and will look silly. This is counteractive to the character of integrity we strive to have.

As Character leaders, we must extend ourselves to other people with integrity and what flows out of integrity are trusts from others and outstanding confidence. People with integrity usually will attract many wanting to be mentored because they can be trusted and others want to learn from them. As such, a mentor must not be critical and should be an encourager instead. This will greatly enhance the integrity one already has. We cannot also be greedy with money and must learn to “Love people, use money. Not use people, love money”

The Character of Discretion

Character Leadership - The Character of Discretion

“Be not too tame neither, but let your own discretion be your tutor. Suit the action to the word, the word to the action, with this special observance, that you o'erstep not the modesty of nature. "      – William Shakespeare

Definition:  Knowing how to avoid embarrassment or distress by recognizing and avoiding undesirable words, actions and attitude.

Carelessness, Recklessness, Impulsiveness and a Lack of Concern are the opposites of discretion. These negative traits will make us fail to see others as important or worth our effort to respond to them in a tactful and good relational way. Discretion keeps us focus on sound judgment, giving serious attention and thought to what is going on around us. We can then choose our words wisely, have a positive attitude, and carry out our actions carefully to model goodness and righteousness for any given situation, thus avoiding words and actions that could result in adverse consequence.

The character of discretion enables us to recognize and avoid the wrong attitudes that create undesirable words, actions, etc., that are condescending to others and can bring negative relationship consequences. To put discretion in action, as Character Leaders, we must remember to think before we speak, and be careful not to say things that could hurt someone. We must also strive to avoid bad influences and questionable activities, as they will manipulate us, and as garbage is poured in our minds, garbage comes out in our words and deeds. When we consider our words carefully before we speak, we will make an impression that will ensure that others will listen to what we have to say in future.

Reflection:

Ask yourself; “Do I have discretion when I speak?” We have to consider our words carefully before we speak. When we are criticized, we must separate what is being said from how it is said. There may be a lesson to be learnt that may benefit us if we do this. If we constantly adjust our behavior to the criticism we will become better person and earn the respect and trust of others.

As Character leaders, we must extend ourselves to other people with discretion and what flows out of discretion are improved relationships and wisdom to make wise choices and decisions. Everyone has his /her own value. Discretion allows us to see the values in others so instead of teasing and making fun; we encourage and befriend those we think are different from us. This is good manners and to have good manners is to be considerate towards others. It also shows that our respect for others is translated into action.